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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27819469">Is This The End?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxiouslykitty/pseuds/Anxiouslykitty'>Anxiouslykitty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The West Wing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Chronic Illness, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, episode 6x9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:35:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27819469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxiouslykitty/pseuds/Anxiouslykitty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Season 6 Episode 9.  How did Abbey handle everything happening with Jed with such strength? Maybe she needed a little help...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Abbey Bartlet &amp; Millicent Griffith, Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Is This The End?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had taken a while for Jed to calm back down enough to let the secret service get Curtis to carry him back to bed.  As they had sat on the bathroom floor Abbey tried to keep herself calm.  It was hard to watch the man she loved so completely go through so much pain and disappointment.  Although she knew it wasn’t possible she wanted to take away his problems so that he could do the job he wanted so badly to do.  When Curtis had laid Jed back in bed Abbey stepped out of the room while Millie checked him over.  She knew that he was probably no worse off than he had been before the fall, but she wanted to be sure.  She sent the secret service out of the suite and she watched as Curtis was dismissed from the bedroom and left the suite.  She sat on the couch and put her head in her hands.</p><p>When Millie came out of the bedroom Abbey didn’t even look up.  Millie came and stood in front of Abbey.  She waited to see if Abbey would look up and when she didn’t she let out a small sigh.  It was hard to watch her friend go through so much pain.  Normally Abbey was strong and pushed through anything in her way, but this seemed to be threatening the strength she was known for. </p><p>“Abbey” Millie said gently. “Do you need me to be Surgeon General right now or can I just be your friend?”</p><p>Abbey looked up at Millie and Millie could see that she was on the border of crying.  The unshed tears shown in Abbey’s eyes and Millie hoped that Abbey would let her be her friend right now.  The hardest thing about being the Surgeon General and Jed being the president was that their friendship had to take a weird sideline most of the time.  She no longer got to be just their friend all the time, but had to decide between the formal and informal every time they were together.  It was hard for her, but she wasn’t willing to lose their friendship and plus Ellie was her goddaughter. </p><p>“I think I need my friend” Abbey croaked out.</p><p>Without another word Millie sat down next to Abbey on the couch and pulled one of Abbey’s hands into her lap squeezing it tightly.  She leaned their shoulders together making sure that Abbey had her support.  It felt good sometimes to pretend the presidency wasn’t part of their lives and just be with her friend.  Even if it was because her friend was watching her husband slowly die.</p><p>“He’s doing fine,” Millie began.  “It doesn’t look like he hurt himself when he fell and the paralysis is the same.  He’s tired and angry and he should probably go home, but otherwise he’s fine.”</p><p>Abbey let out a deep sigh and leaned further into Millie.  </p><p>“This is the beginning of the end isn’t it” Abbey asked. “He’s going to die and there’s nothing I can do about it.”</p><p>“We’re all going to die” Millie retorted.</p><p>“But Jed is going to die sooner and it’s going to be horribly slow and painful.  He’s going to lose little bits of himself until he’s completely gone” Abbey explained.</p><p>“Yes” was all Millie could say.  She knew that sugarcoating it wouldn’t work with Abbey.</p><p>“I don’t know if I can take it,” Abbey whispered.</p><p>“You’ll get through this,” Millie encouraged.  “You are one of the strongest people I know.  You and Jed will get through this together.”</p><p>“But what happens when he’s gone” Abbey asked so quietly Millie could barely hear her.</p><p>“Then you have us,” Millie explained. “You have your kids and your grandkids.  You have your friends and Jed’s friends.  Don’t believe for one minute you will ever have to be alone in all this Abbey.”</p><p>Millie could see the tears falling down Abbey’s face now.  She watched as Abbey slipped slowly into her sadness.  Her face crumpled and her shoulders began to shake.  She brought her free hand up and clamped it over her mouth in what must have been an attempt to suppress a sob.  Millie released Abbey’s hand and wrapped her arm around Abbey’s shoulders.  She pulled Abbey into her body and held her tightly with both arms.  Abbey settled her face against Millie’s chest and cried heavily.  Millie felt Abbey grip the fabric at the sides of her shirt with both hands.  She knew Abbey was trying to hold onto any sense of control she had over the situation.  Millie rubbed small circles on Abbey’s back.</p><p>“Let it all out,” Millie encouraged. “Let go for a bit.  It’s okay I’m here.”</p><p>Abbey took the small encouragement and let herself go.  Her body got heavier against Millie and her grip got tighter.  Her small sobs turned into heavy loud crying.  Millie had never seen Abbey cry so hard.  Even through all of the other tragic things that had happened to the Bartlets, Millie had never seen Abbey let herself cry this much.  Her heart broke for her friend who trembled in her arms.  She knew that Abbey’s crying was loud enough that Jed could hear it in the bedroom.  When she had left him he was still awake, but she was hoping that maybe he had fallen asleep. She wouldn’t make Abbey feel self conscious about needing time to let go. </p><p>It took about twenty minutes for Abbey to calm back down.  Millie still had her held close to her body, but now she was calm.  The tears had stopped and her breathing was back to normal.  She slowly released the tight grip she had on Millie’s sides and began to sit up slowly.  Millie let her pull away but kept a hand on her shoulder so that she knew she was there.  Abbey wiped her face which was red and puffy from crying.  There was a crease along her face from where it had been pressed against Millie’s blouse.  </p><p>“You should get some rest,” Millie instructed.</p><p>“I can’t go back in there like this,” Abbey almost whimpered.</p><p>Millie didn’t know how she would explain it to Jed, but she knew she would be the one that had to go in there and tell him his wife wasn’t coming to bed.  She rubbed Abbey’s shoulder gently.</p><p>“You can stay in my room with me,” Millie offered.  “I’m just next door. If anything happens the secret service can come get us.”</p><p>Abbey just nodded her head and wiped her eyes again.  Millie stood up and reached down to help Abbey up from the couch.  </p><p>“You go to my room and I will tell Jed so he doesn’t worry,” Millie instructed.</p><p>“Don’t tell him I was crying” Abbey instructed as she walked out of the suite.</p><p>Walking into the bedroom Millie could see that Jed had his eyes closed.  She knew though that he wasn’t asleep.  She wasn’t sure how much he could hear into the other room, but she knew he would have heard Abbey crying.  She quietly walked up to the side of the bed and placed a hand on Jed’s arm.  He opened his eyes and looked up at her.  He looked tired, but she could still see the glint in his eye. </p><p>“Abbey’s zonked out in my room” Millie lied.</p><p>Jed looked at Millie and a look of sadness swept across his face.</p><p>“Don’t lie to me Millie” Jed scolded.</p><p>“Jed…” Millie began.</p><p>“I heard her crying,” Jed explained.</p><p>“She’s a doctor Jed, she wants to fix problems and she can’t fix this one” Millie explained.  “More over you’re her husband and she loves you.  Watching you struggle is breaking her heart.  She doesn’t want you to have to deal with her emotions on top of everything else.  She’s trying to protect you because that’s all she has left.” </p><p>“If she asks, tell her I was asleep when you came in,” Jed instructed.</p><p>Millie nodded her head and gently ran her hand up and down Jed’s arm.  She leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead.  She could feel tears starting to seep out of her eyes and she quickly wiped them away.</p><p>“Where are Abbey’s things so I can grab her something to sleep in” Millie asked.</p><p>“Over there in the dresser. She usually has a nightgown packed” Jed explained.</p><p>Millie went to the dresser and opened a few drawers before finding the nightgown Jed was talking about.  She picked it up and turned back to Jed.  He had closed his eyes again, but she knew he hadn’t fallen to sleep that easy.  She walked to the door and turned back to look at him.</p><p>“She loves you Jed.  I love you both. We’ll get through this” Millie tried to encourage.</p><p>On her way to her room Millie asked one of the secret service agents to stay outside the bedroom and alert them if there were any issues with Jed.  Once in her room Millie looked around the darkened room for Abbey.  She nearly fell over her when she took a few steps into the room and hit a solid object on the floor.  Looking down to make out Abbey’s form sitting against the wall Millie stopped.</p><p>“Abbey” Millie whispered.</p><p>Abbey looked up at Millie and her face glistened in the low light coming from the window.  Millie squatted down next to Abbey and put her hands on Abbey’s knees which were drawn to her chest.  </p><p>“What are you doing on the floor” Millie asked.</p><p>“I’m so tired,” Abbey replied.</p><p>Millie stood back up and reached down for Abbey’s hands.</p><p>“Alright let's get you in bed.  I’ve brought you a nightgown.  Why don’t you go in the bathroom and get changed” Millie instructed.</p><p>With a little effort Millie pulled Abbey up off the floor.  Abbey took the nightgown and disappeared into the bathroom.  Millie quickly changed into her own pajamas and pulled the covers back on the bed.  She didn’t often have to share a bed anymore, but she didn’t mind for Abbey.  Then had been friends for so long this wouldn’t be the first time they had shared a bed.  Abbey came out of the bathroom and climbed heavily into the bed.  Millie pulled the covers over her before climbing in next to her.  They lay side by side in the dark staring at the ceiling.</p><p>“What did you tell Jed” Abbey asked.</p><p>“He was asleep” Millie lied.</p><p>Abbey seemed to believe her and she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.  She didn’t like to lie to Abbey, but she agreed that it wouldn’t do her any good to know Jed had heard her crying.</p><p>“Millie” Abbey whispered.</p><p>“Yeah” Millie replied.</p><p>“Will you hold me” Abbey asked timidly.</p><p>“Of course” Millie replied.</p><p>Millie opened her arms and let Abbey position herself in the embrace before she closed her arms around her.  Abbey settled in with her head on Millie’s chest and her hand in a fist resting on Millie’s stomach.  Millie felt her shirt growing damp and she knew that Abbey was crying.  Her heart broke for her friend.  She felt her own tears break through again and she let them freely run down her face.  This was going to be a long road and Millie knew that Abbey would be back to normal in the morning acting like nothing happened.  It would be Millie’s job to pretend this never happened and still be there the next time Abbey needed to fall.  It was hard to do, but she would do anything for the Bartlets.</p>
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